Today was a little better!! At least I did have the energy to get out of the house a while. Although, within one hour of taking the little capsule, gilenya, I have some strange effects. My vision is still blurred and still no depth perception, my legs are shaky and still not much feeling. I do think my heart rate is back to about 50. That is supposed to be the worst of the side effects of gilenya. So I am thinking at this point my body may be getting used to the new drug. My family does tell me my memory is not so good (like I don't know) and I don't always think so fast anymore, but that is part of the ms and not the gilenya.
Ms is a strange disease. Most people think it is all about walking and either you can or you end up riding on a scooter. That is not true. It can affect every nerve in your body. I don't even know how to describe the feeling of having pain and being numb at the same time. Nor can I explain why the muscles stay so tight and stiff, like when I was in high school and Coach Smith made us run lines, the muscles would throb for a while, with ms the throbbing doesn't stop. And what I would give if I could run lines now! Funny how we miss some of the strangest things.
The purpose of gilenya is to slow the progression of the disease. I can only hope and pray I can tolerate it so it can do what it is supposed to do.
I read this quote the other day, "You may have to fight a battle more than once to win."
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